THE PREACHER VS THE QUEEN OF THE COAST - by Don Norman Obinna.

As you are about to read this column, thank God wholeheartedly if you are among those he has delivered from boarding public buses. The menace associated with this act, to say the least is exasperating. Apart from the
driver's/conductor's nuisance which you have no choice but to tolerate, you also have these obnoxious and guileful brown envelop carrying preachers to contend with. Apparently, religion has become the opium of
the people simply because of the government dereliction of its statutory obligations. The more people are impoverished, the more they become impressionable to all sorts of messages in the name of the gospel. The more
unemployment accelerates the more young men and women resorts to self-serving preaching as a means of survival. It is so loathsome to say the least that this is
done without considerations for the passengers' suscepi- bilities. Beside the badly spoken English language mostly used by some of them to convey the message and. saliva often poured on passengers sitting close-by, the content of their messages are oftentimes contradictory to the real gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. My experience inside these public buses these past few weeks my car broke down upon my return from Abia state because of bad roads is not palatable at all but, at least I found this particular one very interesting to share with you on this column. The day was Friday last week and the weather also was not too convivial. I hurriedly boarded a bus heading to Ikeja from Obalende, to at least avoid
being drenched by the rain which at that point had already started drizzling. Sitting beside me was a young man wearing a faded but well ironed suit probably in his 40's. As the bus was about to move, this young man stood up and greeted everyone in the bus. His
mission was to preach the gospel which according to him, he has been doing for the past 20 years. As he was about to commence preaching, he ordered the men putting on caps to put them off, while the women he commanded to cover their heads as a sign of respect to the presence of God which he boasted was already over flowing in the bus. I was totally dismayed by the alacrity with which almost everybody in the bucomplied with this command. After the praying bout and
indecipherable tongue speaking, the shout of "Halleluiah" rented the entire bus as he commanded passengers to wave their problems away by waving unto the Lord. Trust Nigerians, the compliance was very
tremendous. Buoyed by this, he commandingly introduced himself as a prophet of God sent to deliver people, especially passengers from bondage and
accident causing demons. He indirectly derided the passengers as people of little faith and challenged God to physically manifest his power in this bus if indeed he is God's servant. His preaching to those willing to listen was on the powers and the manipulations of evil forces and marine spirits. As we got to the middle of Third Mainland Bridge, he stopped the preaching abruptly
and started mumbling. Quietly but with a strong voice he said, "I perceived the presence of the queen of the Coast in this bus". Gullibly some shouted, "The blood of
Jesus". At this point, the prophet violently began to bind and loose and subsequently demanded that all eyes should be closed. Suddenly there was this horrific scream which interrupted the prayer and forced
every eyes opened. Behold, it emanated from a beautiful, fair in complexion and smartly dressed lady sitting
at the rear seat of the LT 35 bus. With her eyes ablaze with contrived anger and contorted face, she pointed at the so called man of God and declared, "This is my
territory and how dare you think you can stop me? You dare not disparage my kingdom henceforth, understand! She yelled at the prophet. In fact, you must be extremely discernable to understand that this was a
contrived plot ingeniously executed by two guile fellows just to extort gullible and unsuspecting passengers in the name of God. At this point, there was an uneasy calm inside the bus; passengers were already jittery,
especially those sitting at the rear seat with the so called queen of the coast. Expectedly the prophet replied in a commanding tune "shut up you blood sucking demon from the marine world. I come against you in the name
of our Lord Jesus". With her eyes fixed on the preacher, the lady laughed scornfully and wanted to utter some words, but the so called prophet cuts in. "I seal your mouth with heavenly super glue. And by the power
vested upon me as the oracle of Jehovah the most high God, I put you into temporary sleep in the mighty name of Jesus" he commanded. But trust Nigerians, almost
everybody was too nervous to chorus Amen, at least not in the middle of the lagoon. It will be like insulting someone right in her compound. "God of Elijah, Fireeeeeeeeeee," He thundered. Lifting his hands above his shoulders he continued, Jehovah ! No be you bi the snake wey dey swallow snake? The burning fire, oya! Gbooosshhaa! After putting up a little resistance, the mighty queen of the coast staggered a bit and suddenly fell into sleep as commanded by the prophet. Much to the relief of the passengers, especially those at the rear seat who kept shouting, "Thank you Jesus". Buoyed by the
ingenuousness of the passengers the prophet continued, "The Lord did not lead me into this bus accidentally. I am here to save your souls from this blood sucking demon from hell". Pointing at the queen of the coast, he
continued. Her plan was to cause a fatal accident and subsequently remit blood to her insatiable kingdom, but the Lord has a counter plan." Praise the Lord" he thundered in heavily Edo accent. But people responded
pragmatically. In fact, the passengers' subservience to this prophet was so nauseating to say the least. The fact that almost everyone acted as if they were under spell made me quiver with anger. I shook my head in disbelief; does this mean that Nigerians go to church in vain? I mumbled to myself rhetorically. At least the
bible is replete with compendious information about God and his modus operandi. No wonder the bible says "my people perished because of lack of knowledge". I concluded frustratingly. After some abracadabra and fake spiritual demonstrations, the prophet cleared his
throat and began to prophesy, this time in outdated English language reminiscent of the King James Version. "There is a man in this bus, who loves everything and anything in skirt. Repent ye son of man for the anger of
God is come upon ye and your end shall be worst than your beginning". He warned repeatedly. With his eyes firmly closed and arms fidgety he continued, "There is a young lady in this bus whose plan is to spend this
weekend with a man who is not her husband. Thou shall try it not as ye may not be alive to tell the story". But before he could conclude the statement; the gullible had shouted, "It is not my portion in Jesus name".
My frustration grew further at this point; how can people be so dumb? Of course a man having so many bed partners or a lady planning to spend weekend in a man's house on a Friday are commonly acceptable social activities in Lagos; albeit religious people
who will argue on the contrary. So it is expected that a bus carrying approximately 23 passengers will have all manner of people on board. I was so disappointed that people could not figure out that this man was psychologically manipulating them in the name of God.
As I sat still pondering the matter with my eyes fixed on the so called prophet, he sneaked a surreptitious glance at me. Absolutely noticing my slightly protruded
stomach, he continued. "Thank you Jesus. Oh! There is a young man here with a pot-belly, hummmmm! How long shall thou continue to imbibe alcohol? I see death coming like a whirled wind. But thank God your
deliverance has come. It shall not be your portion, in the mighty name of Jesus" he shouted. The chorus of Amen like a thunder rented the bus once again to my sheer
trepidation. At this point I was indignant and was almost stirred to protest, but quickly subjected my
temperament under control. Apparently aware of my disposition, the so called prophet threw a light-hearted banter just to placate me and also ameliorate the almost tensed atmosphere in the bus. Noticing that he was running out of time, he hurriedly asked everyone to bow down their heads for prayer. After the prayer, he
afterward brought out a large quantity of brown envelops and cajoled passengers to give cheerfully to the Lord of harvest who is seeking for that faithful person to bless abundantly according to his riches in Christ
Jesus. Absolutely astonished by the passengers'
response, he tactically admonished them on the power of seed. And thereafter challenge them to try God with their seeds. He mentioned all kinds of seed and their ripple effects and encouraged the passengers not to
miss this wonderful opportunity with the Lord for a last minute miracle. Of course the acquiescence was amazing. Smiling, he asked everybody to lift their hands up for benediction. As he shouted in the name of Jesus, behold there was a heavy sneeze; alas, the queen of the coast is back to consciousness again staring at everyone to the consternation of the passengers. As he turned his attention towards her, he amorously asked, "Are you ready for your salvation now"? Humbly the
queen of the coast nodded in affirmative. "Are you ready to abjure marine spirit and accept Jesus as your Lord and saviour"? The prophet asked, this time more intimately. Yes, she replied covering her face with her
palm." Do you desire a total deliverance from the marine world"? He asked yet again, encouraging her to speak up. Crying, she replied "yes". "In that case you will follow me to my church immediately" he ordered the
lady. At this point, the prophet leapt for joy and
ordered everybody to put their hands together for the Lord. As this was going on, he beckoned the queen of the coast to rise onto her feet and follow him. He gleefully
thanked everybody in the bus for granting himaudience. And the next thing we heard was, "driver owa oooO! 7up mo ti fe bole. I could not help but laugh uncontrollably as the queen of the coast hurriedly alighted from the bus with her man. Did I hear
someone say 'a perfect drama filled with contrivances of plot? ' Lagos na waa!
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KENDRICK LAMAR WINS BEST INT'L ACT AT MOBO AWARDS.

2013 MOBO awards which held yesterday at Glasgow's new Hydro Arena in Scotland. Congrats to all the nominees and winners. Continue to see the full list of
winners...

Full list of winners

Best African Act – Fuse ODG
Best Album – 'Home', Rudimental
Best Female in association with Tresor Paris –
Laura Mvula
Best Gospel – Lurine Cato
Best International Act – Kendrick Lamar
Best Jazz – Sons of Kemet
Best Male – Wiley
Best Newcomer in association with HTC – Krept
& Konan
Best Reggae Act – Sean Paul
Best RnB/Soul Act – Laura Mvula
Best Song in association with PRSforMusic – 'La
La La', Naughty Boy
Best UK Hip Hop/Grime - Tinie Tempah
Best Video in association with SBTV - 'La La La',
Naughty Boy
Be MOBO – Stephen Lawrence Trust

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY WANDE COAL A.K.A MR BLACK DIAMOND

Wande coal shares his childhood photo as he turns a year older today, Happy birthday Wande coal many more years ahead God make you bigger .
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PHOTO OF THE DAY

Sleeping on duty
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OFFICIAL ALBUM ART FOR OLAMIDE'S "Baddest Guy Ever Liveth "

Official Album Art and release date for OLAMIDE's "Baddest Guy Ever Liveth" Album has been announced, it drops on November 7th 2013.very hot dude
lifesgists.blogspot.com

PHOTO OF THE DAY

LESSON : Learn to help the needy even if they look better of than you.
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PRESIDENT JONATHAN'S MESSAGE TO THE MUSLIMS

As our Muslim faithfuls celebrate EIDEL-KABIR today president Goodluck Jonathan has urged muslims to continue. To meditate on the immense benefit of honesty,selflessness,tolerance &Peacefull coexistence to Nigeria
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BETTER DAYS AHEAD FOR KCee "Limpopo Crooner"

Limpopo crooner KCee, yesterday departed ABUJA in style alongside his Manager HARRY SONG. Hmmm, Better days are indeed here for the "ASO ROCK" boy.
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BBM NAIJA INC.

"Are you an #Entrepreneur with a #startup or #smallbiz,then advertise your HUSTLE for free on the largest BBM community in naija- BBM NAIJA. Follow us @bbmnaijainc(we'll #ff back) and like our FB page - BBM NAIJA INC. Phone number: 08138130058/08121851783"
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone, powered by Easyblaze

PRESIDENT GOODLUCK JONATHAN GRIEF's FOR YESTERDAYS CRASH VICTIMS.

The president of federal republic of Nigeria , president Goodluck jonathan grief's for the victims of the associate airline crash victims. JONATHAN has condoned with the families of those who died in the Plane Crash in LAGOS &also ordered For full investigation of the crash by relevant authorities

PHOTO OF THE DAY; GOVERNOR AREGBESOLA GOES TO SCHOOL

The governor rocks a school uniform, it looks good on him tho.

PHOTO OF LATE EX- ONDO GOVERNOR'S COFFIN AFTER THE CRASH.

This is the photo of the coffin of the late ONDO state EX Governor, Olusegun Agagu after the plane crash of the Associate airline which was bound for Akure. May the souls of the Departed Rest in peace (RIP)

AN OKADA MAN PAID PRY 6 STUDENT TO HAVE SEX WITH HER

Wonders shall never cease . An Okada rider in Tanke Ilorin kwara state wooed a Pry 6 girl to have sex with him. The okada rider was spotted with the pry 6 student this morning as they were moving into an uncompleted building , The middle aged Okada man whose name has not been released yet said he gave the little girl 250 naira to have sex with him. The girl agreed to have sex with the man @ 250 naira price . We are yet to ascertain if it is actually a rape case or if there was really a mutual agreement between the two of them Both of them were handed over to the police. The young man claimed to be a graduate of History from UNILORIN. Got the info from an eye witness , More updates are still coming on the story.

SAMUEL ETO'O ABOUT TO MAKE HISTORY.

Mourinho as a coach has won the italian Seria A with Inter milan, he won the La liga with Real Madrid, He has also won the English Premier league with chelsea foot ball club. Jose Mourinho is the current Chelsea coach and made some signings before the. transfer window closed, the Signing of Samuel Eto'o fils by Mourinho was not a mistake because history is about to be made. Jose mourinho has won the Seria A , La Liga and the EPL . Samuel ETO'o has won the Seria A, and La Liga as a footballer , his move to chelsea will motivate him to lift the English premier league making him the first player ever to accomplish such, that is winning three different leagues.
It was at the Nou Camp that Eto'o elevated himself into the upper echelons of the world's best players, scoring for fun for the Catalans - with 125 strikes to his name in just 183 games. His impact was immediate as his goals helped Barca win the La Liga title in 2005 and then the Champions League in 2006. Injuries hampered his development, but Eto'o was imperious in the Catalans' treble winning 2008-09 season, netting 34 goals in 44 appearances in all competitions.

But with a plethora of talent around him, coach Pep Guardiola decided Eto'o was surplus to requirements and traded him in for Zlatan Ibrahimovich in a move that saw the Cameroon forward move to the San Siro, where he continued to display his scoring exploits in Serie A. Wanting a new challenge, he earned himself a lucrative move to cash-rich Anzhi, where he became the highest paid player in football.

At international level, Eto'o has excelled and is Cameroon's all-time leading scorer with 42 goals in 87 games.

WAEC SLAMS 5 YEAR JAIL TERM ON ANY CANDIDATE CAUGHT IN MAL PRACTICE.

WAEC SLAMS 5 YEAR JAIL TERM ON ANY candidate caught indulging in examination malpractice in any part of the Country risks a minimum of 5years imprisonment or N200,000 fine or both so every WAEC candidate should shun all form of mal practice.

I GO DIE AND FAMILY PLAYING GOLF

I Go Die, one of Nigeria top comedian knows the importance of family as he shares a picture of he and family playing golf.

GOV.SULLIVAN CHIME DONATES VEHICLES TO SSS IN ENUGU STATE.

As part of his policy of providing essential support to security agencies in Enugu State, Governor Sullivan Chime has handed over three brand new KIA Saloon cars and three Hilux patrol Vans to the State Command of the State Security Service, SSS.
At a brief ceremony held at the Government House on Wednesday, the Governor, represented by his Special Adviser on Security, Mr. Richard Chime said the vehicles were intended to assist the SSS in its operations.
He noted that security would be hard to obtain without effective intelligence gathering mechanism, and expressed hope that the vehicles would support the efforts of the SSS.
Chime further assured that the government would continue to pay prior attention to security matters to ensure that the state remained a safe and secure place for both social and business activities to thrive.
Receiving the vehicles the State Director of SSS, Mr. Victor Duru commended Governor Chime for his unwavering commitment to the entrenchment of security and peace in the state, which according to him, had led to its being regarded as one of the safest states in the country.
He also praised what he described as the Governor's "noiseless but relentless" efforts at bringing about a rapid and comprehensive development of the state saying that his achievements in this regard was also helping to enhance the security situation in the state

WIZKID GAY??

Whao a reader sent this picture to me hahahahahahahahah what are we not going to see in this country.

NATURAL WAYS TO KEEP YOUR TEETH WHITE.

We've all been told to avoid red wine, dark berries, and black coffee in our quests for pearly whites; but what about foods that actually brighten your smile? Try these
natural solutions for a brilliant beam.

STRAWBERRIES
They may be bright red, but malic acid, a chief component of this summery fruit, acts as a natural astringent to remove surface tooth discoloration, says Dr. Irwin Smigel, president of the American Society for Dental Aesthetics.

SEEDS AND NUTS
Chewing these lightly abrasive, hard foods rubs plaque and stains off the surface of teeth, says Dr. Matthew Messina, a spokesperson for the American Dental
Association.

ONIONS
Although they may not be the ideal pre-date snack, the notoriously bad-for-breath alliums could be beneficial to teeth. Because they're colourless, they won't cause surface stains, says Messina, adding that after eating them, you're more likely to brush, which is a surefire way to get whiter teeth

APPLES
Apples' crispiness strengthens gums, andtheir high water content increases saliva production, dispersing and neutralising colonies of bacteria that lead to bad breath
and plaque, says Smigel.

BAKING SODA
Take a toothpaste break and try brushing with this common ingredient. Baking soda is a base, like bleach, notes Messina, and the 'soda,' which is actually a form of salt, is a mild abrasive that works to scrub off plaque and surface stains.

BROCCOLI
Throw some raw broccoli into your lunch-the florets will scrub the surface of teeth, giving them a briefandnatural midday brush.

WATER
Drink lots of water to keep your mouth hydrated and your smile bright, advises Smigel, who recommends sipping and swishing between glasses of wine and when eating dark, pigmented foods to prevent staining.

THE BIGGEST YATCH EVER TO COST ABOUT $605 MILLION- TRULY A SUPERYATCH.

In the billionaire boat wars, a new record holder is making waves. The Emirati royal family has run the Russians aground with its seaworthy superbeast: The brand-new ship Azzam, at 590 feet, overshadows the Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich's yacht, Eclipse, by 57 feet. The bigger boat came at a price: According to CNN, just to build the thing cost $605 million. And that doesn't include the cost for upkeep, which can be 10 percent of the boat's price, per year. Sheikh Khalifa bin Zayed Al Nahyan, president of the United Arab Emirates and ruler of Abu Dhabi, is reportedly the owner, according to the Telegraph. The boat is big — much bigger than a football field and larger than some cruise ships. And relatively speaking, it's fast. It is said to reach speeds of
up to 30 knots, or about 35 mph, making it one of the fastest superyachts on the seas. Although no details of what lies inside have been forthcoming, clues could
come from the Eclipse yacht, which boasts features that sound like something a James Bond supervillain
would own: an armor-plated master suite, two swimming pools, two helipads, a mini submarine, and even its own
missile defense system. The luxe ship, which the website Super Yachts calls "the most challenging and complex yacht ever built," was also built in record time: just three years and a year of engineering. Engineer Mubarak Saad al Ahbabi assembled and directed the team. Lurssen developed Azzam's technical engineering, Nauta Yachts designed the exterior, and Christophe Leoni designed the interior.